Radical Acceptance How often have you racked your brain trying to decide how you will respond to this situation or that? It is tiring to do this to yourself. Not only do you drain yourself emotionally and mentally, but it starts to take it toll on your physically body. This acts as a barrier to not only emotionally peace but basic productivity. *Stop the overthinking* “Over-thinking ruins you. Ruins the situation, twists things around, makes you worry and just makes everything much worse than it actually is." The reality of life is that we will never be able to be prepared for every situation that comes our way. That is why wisdom comes from experience. All you can do, is the reality of what you can ACTUALLY DO. It is about learning the difference between understanding what you can and can't change. The courage to take action within that knowledge and resting in what is beyond your control. In therapy, this concept if called "Radical Acceptance" and follows the model of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. From this perceptive, you will have the ability to emotional ground yourself and self-sooth through stressful or even hurtful situations. You can learn to be what you are in that moment, verses getting caught in the fight, flight, or even freeze response. Formula for self-soothing
I am ______________.
(Describe the situation)
For example: "I am sitting in this blue room, starting at my computer"; "I am at work talking to a customer who is being extremely rude", "I am having an argument with my kids or spouse"
(Identify your emotions: How do you actually feel?) For example: " I feel mad", " I feel sad", "I feel overwhelmed", "I feel disrespected",
What I can't do is___________
(Make a list of things you can't do, that is outside of your control, or that would hurt the situation)
For example: "I can't change the weather", "I can't cuss out my boss", "I can't call people names"
What i can do is_____
(Make a list of what you can do- a list of what is inside of your control) For example: "What I can do is wear warmer clothes", " I can smile even if other people are rude", "I can take deep breaths"
What I will do is__________
(Make a decision to do something that shows a healthy action) For example: "I will walk away", " I will set boundaries" Be Rational, Wise, and Logical.
“Acknowledge how you feel but don't let emotions determine your reality ” By practicing the formula for radical acceptance, you are making a choice to practice emotional intelligence. This can empower your to not only set boundaries with those around you but also stop yourself from engaging in behaviors that you feel guilty for later. We as humans, all want to feel like we are in control and when we don't ... it scares us. Reset yourself by reminding yourself of what you can control within yourself to provide empowerment toward rationalization and wisdom. Identify and acknowledge how you feel verses ignore it. Think about the differences between what you need verses want in each moment and chose a path that reflects the person you aspire to be. One moment. One choice at a time.